Inner Beauty Is... Give me a sec

I wanted this post to be about inner beauty, but as I began to take notes on what I thought I wanted to say I realized that I had no idea what inner beauty actually consisted It's actually funny as I think about it, because i'm actually asking what does inner beauty LOOK like. Jeez! Can we not escape this whole "EYE of the beholder" fairy-tale. It seems that even our inward characteristics have a unique appearance that we are searching for. Why do I even bother?

No...but really...why am I trying so hard to achieve this whole, "I want to be beautiful in my heart," anyway? I mean, wouldn't it be easier to be like every other beauty/fashion blogger and just post pictures of myself with my fashion tips and tricks? Wouldn't that be a good way to boost my ego and fight my insecurities? Posting beautifully, edited selfies that strangers will hopefully leave flattering comments on? Oh yes, for the first few months of this blog, I was living the life. But in truth, it wasn't easy. My heart was not at ease, and I think it's because I did not feel as if my God was pleased. At the time, I didn't believe that my new-found interest in fashion blogging compromised my faith in any way, but as I dig deeper into my soul (I know, I know), I am coming to the understanding that by putting so much in to creating the right outfit, and adding the right commentary to go along with it was time consuming. It was time that was being taken away from serving my Lord and Savior. And by allowing this I was showing that there were more important things to put my energy towards.

I have to constantly remind myself that at the end of the day, when this world is gone this blog will be too. So it doesn't matter how many great  outfits I was able to style or even how many people subscribed to my blog. What matter's most is the Rock that will continue to stand.

The Thirst For Community

My God is not dead, and when He speaks, He really speaks. It amazes me that even though I believe in His power and I know that He is real, I still become dumbfounded when I hear Him speaking to me. It's as if I know and understand in my mind that His power exist, but when it becomes obvious that His power is working right before my eyes I am speechless, and my awe of  Him  is strengthened in my heart. This is a flaw in my faith that I desperately need to address. It should not surprise me that God would answer a prayer, I should graciously expect that the answer will come in His time. God is still working on me.

For a while now, I have been desperate to create some form of community as I walk in my Christian faith. As an only child it is easy to drift away, or just naturally feel like a lone ranger when it comes to social cues. I've been living that life for a while, but I don't think my heart can take it anymore. I am a young Christian woman who is "thirsty" for community. And I have been getting the feeling that God strongly wants that for me too. After all, he was the one that said, "it is not good for man to be alone." I think He knew, even from the beginning, that this walk would not be one that we can do alone in the flesh. I think we often take that verse to mean that we are all suppose to have spouses. Adam was alone, and then God brought him Eve, and they had little Cains and Ables to run around their white stone fence. But maybe, just maybe, God could have also been saying that it is not good for my children to be alone in general. Maybe our 'not being alone' does not solely rest on who we are married to. I need Christian friends, and I don't mean associates, I need Christian community. I need people to love on my like a sister, as I will love on them like one (or brother). I need people to hold me accountable, to correct me when I'm wrong, and who will allow me to correct them if the moment calls for it. I need a community that will draw me deeper into Christ. 

I've been struggling with this for the past couple of years, and just a few days ago, I decided that I needed to do something about it. Now I don't believe in coincidences, so try your best to prove to me that this wasn't a God intervention.

Wednesday was the day that I decided that I needed to take the necessary steps to create a christian community within my church. There is a large age gap within my church. The presence of members who are between 18-30 years-old are practically nonexistent. But despite not having a lot, we still have them, and I needed to work with that. I decided that the best way to do it would be to kick it off with something fun...and cheap, so I created a Facebook event. 

They will probably think that I am the corniest bugger that ever lived, but that's ok, there is a method to this madness. 

For every event that you make on Facebook they ask that you include a description. So instead of just putting "just because" in the description I needed them to know why it was so important for me to put this invite out.

Before I posted this, I searched the internet for scriptures on christian community and I came across Hebrews 10 24-25 

"And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, not staying away from our worship meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day drawing near."

Shortly after making that event I searched the internet for any churches that might have had a ministry that catered to my needs. I don't want to leave my church, but I do think it's ok to branch out for food. As I was doing this I came across the ministry "Incite." Ran by the young adults of Cottonwood church. I knew that I needed to go. The timing for finding this ministry and when they had their meetings could not have been more perfect. So today, I mustered up the bravery I needed to attend a church full of young adults that I didn't know, and I'm so glad I did.

Not only was the praise and worship session a great experience, the message itself seemed to be just for me  me. The message for the night came from Hebrews 10: 24-25. Like I said, I don't believe in coincidences. 

I believe that this was God telling me that  my desire to be around other Christians who hunger and thirst for righteousness is a godly one. And it is a thirst that I will continue to go after with God's guidance.

   

I Can't Make Disciples

Francis Chan on Making Disciples 

I was watching this video the other day and I had an epiphany...

Am I the only one that gets freaked out by the demand, "go and make disciples" ? I mean, who am I to go out and grab 12 people in the middle of the day, from whatever they're doing and spread the gospel. The very idea of leading a pack like that scares the bajeebers out of me.

I hate when I convict myself with my own thoughts.

After writing that, I realized that I am afraid to make disciples because I do not feel as if I am...equipped....enough to even think about making disciples. Whew! It actually felt good to get that out. But it also makes me feel really, really sad. It's one thing to be insecure in your looks, talents and skills, but it is a completely different universe to be insecure in your Faith. I mean your faith is where your security in your looks,talents and abilities are strengthened. So what happens to those things when the foundation of your security is non existent? If you aren't a christian you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Your're probably sitting there, reading this blog, furrowing your brow while firmly saying "the foundation of my security is in me, not a belief system."

Must be nice.

But for the rest of us Jesus Freaks, we know that the foundation of our security in whatever we are doing rest in Jesus, and once you know the truth, it's kind of hard to take in a lie.

I can't make disciples. At least, that's what Satan wants me to believe.

I am not well studied enough, I am not holy enough, I am not saved enough, to go out and preach the gospel to all who need to hear it. These sound like great reasons in my head to stay away from discipleship, but in all reality, the work of Jesus is too important to simply stay quiet until the time is right. Because as long as Satan is lurking the time will never be right.

I need to begin studying, now. I need to begin praying, now. I need to begin worshiping, now. And along the way, I ask that God give me the courage to ask others to join me.

Over Priced Shades Have Never Given Us Vision

I was listening to a Lecrae song the other day and I finally decided to write a post inspired by one of the lines from his Gravity  album.

 "And them overpriced shades have never given us vision."
                                              -"Mayday". Gravity

Every time I hear this line, no matter how many times I hear it, there is this nagging  light bulb that starts flickering and buzzing shines in my head. I mean, how many of us have paid or have known people who have paid in the double and even triple digits for a pair 'high quality" sunglasses? When you think about it, it's kind of ridiculous. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know for a fact that my "stylish" sunglasses always end up broken or forgotten. When I think about all the time I spent in stores, standing in front of a rotating tower of sunglasses, trying them on and breaking them in, only to buy and lose them in the end, it angers me.

Are overpriced shades helping me in any way?  Some will argue about the quality. But let's be real...sunglasses are really just an accessory. Something we only pull out on occasion. We use them to make our outfits look....sunny (for lack of a better description). Unless your eyes are legally going bad, sunglasses come no where close to being a necessity. So why are we paying so much for them?

                                         

  I got these glasses from the dollar store today. They may not seem as tinted as a pair of sunglasses that run for $70.00, but they get the job done....especially if you're going to use them as accessories.

Unchained Beauty

  If you've read my blog from the beginning you'll notice that things have drastically changed. But if you haven't, I'll tell you, that starting today, this blog is going through a makeover (you'll find the irony in this later). Although I enjoyed writing about clothes, styling and fashion for a bit, I could not continue to lie to myself for too much longer. Fashion is not my passion, Jesus is. And if nothing I do goes back to Him it's pointless. Blogging is pointless if you aren't writing about things that are true matters of the author's heart. So, it's time for me to be real with myself.
  I am tired of living to please people with my appearance. I have reached the point where I can't decide if I am dressing for my gratification or for the gratification of someone else. This tug of war that I am in is exhausting. For years I have struggled with my looks. The taunting and teasing of childhood peers are the root of my insecurities. I would lose minutes of my life staring in the mirror, studying every structure of my face. I was trying my best to decide if I was someone people could find attractive. Quickly, I would decide that attraction did not rest in my features, and with grave disappointment I would  reach for the tools that were supposed to "make-up" for all the areas that I lacked. There were some days that I felt as if I had steel chains that linked me to my makeup bag. I became a slave to the morning routine of instant change.

But for who?

 Who was I changing for? Daily, I woke up and I began the robotic routine of improving myself. Straight lines on my eyes, pink clouds on my cheeks, flawless brown skin. I was becoming me...or at least the worlds view of me. But my thinking behind this was flawed, probably more flawed than the face I was trying to mask away from the world. The truth is, at the end of the day,despite any little comments that I might have received, when I came home and the concealer came off the only thing I was left with was me. The real me, the me that was created in the image of God.  

God.

   It's funny. When I add Him into the equation of my dependency on makeup (as I should have from the beginning) I'm realizing that putting make-up on my face to improve my natural born features is the biggest insult to God. To the one that created me and gave me to this world. To the One is perfect and without flaw. To the One who doesn't make mistakes.

I am not beautiful because my best friend's sister's husband's homeboy told me so.

I am beautiful because God says so and He desires to have me.

"And the king will desire your beauty. Bow down to him, for he is your lord."
-PSALM 45:11

Why Fashion Magazines May Be In Trouble

Gone are the days when women looked to magazines to guide them in their shopping selections. Flipping through pages, hopeful for coupons, desperate for the budget shopping tips found in the "Steals and Splurges" section of a lower-end fashion magazine. Those days are dead. That may be a little dramatic, but I guess I'm trying to say that fashion magazines are losing their value.

Those corporate hours spent racing to make publishing deadlines, budgets made to hire models, choosing photographers, and picking stylist are now being replace by the 13-year-old who only has time to write a quick post on her choice of nail polish from her smart phone as she rushes to class. Oh yes. The competition in the fashion guiding world is becoming fierce. 

Instead of sending checks for magazine subscriptions, style hopefuls and gurus now have the option of sending comments to the stylist of their favorite blog subscription. They can get personal with the blog author or vlogger, sharing what they did and did not like about the post, even making their own request of what they would like to see the writer or YouTuber try. 

There is something about fashion magazines that establishes a sense of hierarchy. Most times, they are showing ads and styles of clothes that average people would never be able to afford. But bloggers? let's just say that a lot of them know a little something about shopping on a budget. The bloggers reach the "regulars". The people who enjoy the fashion freedom of well known entertainers but don't have the means or money to do so. Now, us "regulars" no longer have to flip through magazines and drool with defeat in our eyes. We can log on to Google Chrome, begin a search, and allow the blogging beauty community of the "regulars" to take us away into a world of affordability and creativity.

These are a few of the many bloggers and vloggers who are now beginning to make their mark in leading the fashion world.

From left to right:

1. Missiffa.com

http://www.missiffa.com/

2. YouTube/ Bethany Mota

https://www.youtube.com/user/Macbarbie07

3. Zoella.co.uk

http://www.zoella.co.uk/

The Crocodile Huntress

Bindi Irwin is simply beautiful.

While shopping in the store this morning, I ran across a magazine that had her seemingly more mature face on the cover. It reminded me of the days of the most adventurous "Crocodile Hunter." Back then, I lived for Animal Planet, and the crocodile hunter was apart of that love. I remember her being a very bubbly child as she stood along side her dad with an anaconda casually wrapped around his neck. And now, here she is, almost ten years after the death of her father and she looks stunning.

Not bad for a girl who runs with monkeys and kangaroos at the Australia zoo.

Can I just say that I love snug fitting long sleeved dresses. This dress especially speaks to me because of the flared  bottom. That's more to my taste. My lower back area is slightly...rounded, so a fitting dress wouldn't meet my conservative desires. But the one that Bindi Irwin is wearing looks fun. The black and white color scheme along with the floral patterns give the dress elegance...but the boots...sigh...let's talk about the boots, shall we? I LOVE a girl who is able to pull off a dress with combat boots and make it look as flawless as she does. It gives the look some edge and it gives me the confidence that one day...I will be able to stand tall in a dress with no inch heels.

One more thing,

I came across a few YouTube videos of Bindi as she has reached the coming of age year of 16, and I absolutely love how dynamic her character is. She is so entertaining to watch, even when she is talking about the simplest things. I think she is carrying on her fathers legacy very well.